Relieving the Pain...

This semester has been one of the hardest phases of my life. I never thought i could get as low as i was a month ago. I have not had the most wonderful childhood. A red carpet was and is not laid out for me. I have had to fight for everything that i have including my family. However, I thought that as i got older everything would get easier. But despite my greatest hopes, nothing is ever easy, at least not for me. I had this great plan that living on my own was going to be the most wonderful experience ever. It has been good to a certain extent, but lately it seems like im falling into a deeper and deeper dark hole that only has 2 ways of escape. 1 to end it all, 2 to just wait until its too late and accept the pain as life. Sometimes it seems so much easier to just go with option 1. However, though it may seem like the 1st option is the coolest, its also the most selfish and pointless. Therefore leaving me with option 2 to just wait and stick it out.

As time progressed, things went from blissful to a nearly complete demise. With school consistently adding on weight and the bills that seem to never end, life seemed pointless to live. Emotional pain is so much more stronger than physical pain. Emotional pain can take a lifetime to go away. After tired of feeling the emotions of a failure, I thought physical pain would be easier to deal with. Taking a knife to my wrist, I attempted to transfer all my anger and frustration into something that was tangible and for just a split moment, I could focus on patching up my physical wounds and leave my catastrophe of emotions by the wayside. However, after it was all said and done, the scars I now carry constantly remind me of my lowest time. It was not until I sat and took a really deep look inside that i saw the true me. The person that i had lost through all the heartache. Who had i become? and how do i get the woman that i once knew back?

I have always been a strong believer in God. I have always looked to Him for guidance and strength. However, for some reason at this point in my life, I found it hard to talk to my Father. I found it hard to even accept the fact that he still loved me despite all my problems and issues. I found it hard to understand that in His time He would make a way through my troubles. But through all my failure and psychotic episodes, He never left me. He never forsake me. He was always there with open arms to welcome me back into His presence. He reminded me of the person that I was. He showed me who i had become and He also explained to me why He did not come when I called. Now I understand the true meaning of faith. It goes far beyond just knowing that God exists. It starts from within one's heart and the fire burning in my heart had died from all the pain i harbored.
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For those reading this that have no idea what I'm talking about, I pray that one day you will be able to experience a relationship with God as i have. I pray that He will reveal Himself to you as He has to me on so many occasions. It is only because of Him that I am who I am today. It is only because of Him that i can look at my circumstance and still smile. I smile because i know that weeping may endure for many nights, but joy comes every morning that I wake up in my right mind. Every morning that I wake up to a new and beautiful day, I must smile and thank God.

Life is NEVER what we expect it to be. We can have the most sculpted plan of action for any situation, but something always happens to test us. I have learned that no matter how depressed I feel or how hopeless, my problems will still be there. And because of that I need to take action and not waste time. Time is the 1 thing that we can NEVER get back, so we must not waste it on foolishness. As my debt keeps growing and issues keep arising, I look to the sky. When i feel there is no way, and my path seems pitch black, some how somewhere a light appears to guide me home.

Time to Say Good-Bye

As I walk on this journey with you, I realize that I wasn't walking with you all along, but i was following you. I've been chasing this false image of friendship, lost in this figment of my imagination that you actually cared about me. As I evaluate this time that we've spent full of madness, I understand now that I am the flower and you are the bee. My beautiful being so much for your eyes to see, yet you use me. Sucking me dry for my precious pollen to build up the home of your ego.Yet I stay true and available so that when your need me I'm there to follow, so you can use and abuse the priviledge that I've given you to taste the sweet nectar of my spirit, but I stay true. But you get what you want then fly back to the queen, because in her presence you feel serene. She nurishes your being inside and out she is the mirror to your soul without a doubt. And I stand here suspended, left alone with my thoughts, remembering the softness of your touch. But then reality takes over and I remember that it's not you that I crave, but its the feeling of security. The warmth of knowing that deep down inside I'm desirable. Then I conceptualize and realize that this is about me, you were merely a token of affection on my totem pole. Thinking all this time that you needed me, but then i realized that i needed you. I needed you to make me smile. I needed you to feel sexy. I needed you to feel safe. I overdosed on the little affection you gave me and allowed myself to be trapped in your lies and deceit. However, as my relationship with my Father above grows stronger and stronger, He reminds me that you were never what I needed. You were a phase and you helped me grow and I thank you. Now that your out of my life, I see clearly and though I thought I would miss you, I dont. Instead I pity you, for never learning the lesson that I tried to teach you, but I guess that really wasnt my place. So now that we take our separate paths, we can remember, and forget the past we leave behind. We can move on and grow some more...separately and eternally connected. I wish you the best of luck in your life.

Peace, Love, and Happiness,
Veronica

TOO THRU!!!

So......
I'm tired of this town.
I'm tired of lame ass boring ass parties.
I'm tired of disrespectful, busted ass, wanna be playa ass, indecisive ass, ghetto ass niggas.
I'm tired of grimey, skany, dirty, hypocritical, bitchy females.
I'm tired of professors, midterms, hmwk, and retarted fucking labs.
I'm tired of bored ass bullshit cops with nothing else to do.
I'm tired of stupid detour signs and the irony that come with it (*lowkey hella fun though)

FUCK!!!!

I just need to get away from here as fast as possible!

Trapped in a Box pt.2

So this is pretty much a continuance of my other trapped in the box post. I'm kinda feeling the same way except this time I know what's wrong with me. But unfortunately it is a situation that cannot be resolved by me. This time its not up to me to make the change. Don't you hate when situations that can easily be resolved are out of your control? But I guess that's just life. Most of the time we can't have everything our way. Which totally sucks!!! LOL But you know sometimes I get kind of tired of being the one that has to fix shit. Oh well when it all comes crashing down, im not gonna be the one running to the rescue. I'm gonna sit there lmao saying," I told you so!!!" LOL

Angels Sent From Heaven....

So I read my girl Beth's blog about the random woman who began talking to her at work and pretty much knew everything that was going on in Beth's life w/o her even saying anything and i totally enjoyed reading that and watching God show us his power. So today i went to the bank looking a HOT MESS....and i had my brother and sister with me. So i told them to sit in the "Kid's Corner" and wait for me there until i was done banking. I looked over and this random woman who worked at the bank was talking to them...(later i found out her name)...So i was like oh man its another person tryna get them to open up accounts..sigh...so after i was done i went over to get them then they lady started to talking to me. She was explaining to me it was important for them to get CA state ids becuz we needed to start preparing them for the future...so 1st thing that happened she automatically thought i was their mother! hahaha so i know that my hair was a hot mess and i looked a lil homely but i def know i dont look like i birthed 13 and 15 yr olds lol...so i corrected her and we moved on...Then outta no where she started to tell us how we were the future and how we needed to make sure that we continue to make good choices and serve our mother proud...she told me that i needed to make sure i took special care of my siblings becuz in the end they will be all that i have. I almost wanted to cry becuz lately i've been thinking about how much they mean to me and how i love them soo much even though they annoy me sometimes.... :'-( This is the 1st week i have seen my brother in a year and im treating him as if i didnt miss him at all when deep down im SOOOOO excited that he is here. My sister does nothing but try to make me happy but i take her for granted...So Vicki (that the ladies name) pretty much slapped me in the face, but real talk i needed that u know. She then focused her attention specifically at my brother and a lil on my sis but mostly on him...and she pretty much told him about himself lol...she was like u need to make better choices and not be easily influenced...i almost wanted to cry and crack up laughing at the same time! She hit him dead on the head....then she pretty much just gave us all words of wisdom...so after about 15 min of convo we said our goodbyes and almost headed out the door when she called us back to go to her desk. She pulled out a picture of her and her husband...oh did i mention that Vicki is a 57 year old asain woman who i have concluded is the bomb! hehe so she shows us the picture and her husband is black! haha they looked soooo happy and she looked at me and said yea we are happy and u will find love soon....i wanted to cry again (i'll save that for my next post)...then she leans in and whispers....you know that saying "once u go black you dont go back? They werent lying!" LOL i fell out laughing in the bank!!! i was not expecting that, but she shared anyways ahaha so then she gave me her card and we departed...

God really does send ppl to tell us wat he wants us to know...Beth, Ari (I hope u dont mind that i referred to you =) ), and I were able to experience that and i hope one day every does. One word of advise for ppl reading this...Never ignore a kind individual who might want to strike up conversation. It could be an angel in disguise! They may not tell you want you want to know, but they will definitely tell you wat you need to hear!

New Pretty Ricky!!!! OoOoOoOo

Omg so im not gonna lie they bodies is rockin something vicious lol

YouTube - Pretty Ricky - Knockin' Boots '08

Trapped in a Box

I'm like stuck in this world that I can't get out of...I don't know what's going on in my life anymore...I think I'm going down the right path, but I'm not sure if this is really the direction I'm supposed to be headed toward. It seems like every time I think things are going right, something goes wrong. Maybe I'm just over thinking my decisions, but something is telling me that I'm not. I wish there was a manual for my life that I could follow and it would tell me all the decisions I'm supposed to make and all the things I need to avoid. However, life does not work that way. There are so many strongholds on my life right now. So many things I want to do I can not do. I used to have a vision, a goal, a plan...I used to have a passion, a strong desire, for living life to the fullest. I feel as if in the midst of all these decisions and choices that I have lost that passion. Now I just wake up everyday with no real purpose...no real reason for breathing the air in my lungs. The world will never change...People will never change...Every decision I make seems to end in agony...I'm stuck in this world that I can't get out of and I'm lonely...I'm so used to being here that i can no longer cry...I no longer ask for help...I wish there was an ounce of hope for me...but as of right now there is none...

What the hezzy is goin on??

Okay so im totally off my blogging game. I dont really kno wats goin on in my life right now. There is too much to right down and not enough time. I dont even know why I havent blogged since April lol. But oh well, time to move on. So im just gonna right about whats goin on in my life right now if i can figure it out. hahahaha okay so here it goes...

Jobs: I have been looking for a job with a minor bit of luck lol. But God has a plan for me. I have just been cleaning houses for money which actually is a good line of work. I make my own hours demand my own pay and it works for me. So maybe this is what i should be doing right now. I dunno ima just keep applying for places and do some interviews lol...

Car: yay! so i finally got my license and now im doin my thang ya dig...my car is in the shop right now so i can get the registration and get my tags haha. I show in the heck dont wanna be pulled over and ticketed cause of expired tags lmao. That would not be okay. But yay im just happy to finally be whippin it!

School: So i wanted to take summer school but it just did not work out haha. I was tryna take Calc but at every city college in Sac that mess was full!!!! Geez i was like whoa! and then i thought about taking Chem 1 but then i thought that would be a waste of time if i can just pass the test lol...which is another thing i need to do! I need to take the math and science test for Merced so i can register for my classes...I really have been slacking but i keep checkin on my classes to make sure that they are available and they still have hella spots so im good.

Housing: I guess this can be a sub category for school but oh well its my blog and i can make it a separate category if i want hahahahahahaha....im a loser. but anyways, so housing is TRIPPIN! I called like last week and they told me that the waiting list hasnt even moved since school been out! So i asked the dude what he recommended i do since im in the MIDDLE of the waiting list ahaha and he told me to look for off campus housing ahahahaha.....so me and Bea and maybe someone else might be gettin an apt or a house. which is cool anyway! yay!

Family: Crazy still and not getting better! ahahaha thats all i gotta say...

Friends: I love my homies!!! My home ppl and my Mercedians! My bestest friends i miss them sooo much! Friend status is awesomely fantastical!!!!

Well i think thats all for now!!!!! holla

I've been thinking....

Its time to move on...I'm such a long term relationship person that i cant seem to get away from any of my ex's lol... I can't just start a relationship with someone. I cant even have "boo's" (despite popular belief). I dont understand how people can talk to like 5 people at the same time with all of them being potential boyfriends... We have to be friends for a long time before i become exclusive with someone. I guess that's why I've only had 2 real boyfriends in my life...Its because we become such good friends that it seems as if no matter what we go through, we always seem to find our way back to each other. Both of my ex's have been texting and calling me and i just dont know what to do. Im tryna hold friendships with them, but the love i have for both of them just makes me remember the times we spent together and all the happy times...now i dont wanna be back in a relationship with either of them but i just miss being held and those little conversations we would have. So in the midst of all this thinking, i have come to the conclusion that i am ready for a new relationship. I went through the "buddy" stage, i have a lot of guy friends, but now im ready to have someone that i can just have to hold. im tired of all these hood niggas... im tired of ghettoness and drama... i want someone that will respect me and one that knows how to have fun...i dont want someone that tries too hard or forces me to like them...i need sensitivity...someone who pays attention to the little things i say...someone who notices the little changes i do (a new shirt, a little make-up, new earrings)...but shit those kinda men are hard to find, especially at this school...but oh well maybe one day someone i never expected will grow up and surprise me and i'll fall deeper in love with them than anyone i've ever loved...Here's to hoping....

Finally Legal...

So my 18th birthday is tomorrow....YAY super exciting...i guess im so excited because i can finally do things! Im tired of being the young one, even though its never gonna change. Im constantly reminded of how old i am every time i want to do something....it gets hella irritating after a while but i have come to realize that its just something i need to deal with. im younger than everyone because i skipped a grade...i cant go back and change that because no one can change the past and honestly....between u and me....i really dont want to. I dont mean to brag or anything but i like telling ppl that i skipped a grade it makes me sound smart lol...but besides all that... im just happy to do one thing...VOTE...i happy that i can now exercise this right that my ancestors so passionately fought for....I have two strong characteristics...I am black and i am a woman! those two things alone caused my ancestors problems and they fought for me to have that right! That makes me happy...but yea...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

FUCKIN T-MOBILE!!!!!

Okay i just wanna let out a little bit of steam about my frustrations towards T-Mobile!!! I just signed the fucking contract and they all already fuckin up my orders and shit! Send me my fucking phone already!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH..... Okay im done now...Back to your regularly scheduled program...

It lies in you...Another bit of poetry

The perfection of a man lies within you.

The mesmerizing scent of your natural essence astounds me.

The complexion of your chocolate skin creates the perfect blend of serenity and sensuality.

Your walk is undeniable.

You make the love I hold just for you drain like a river into the stream of my undergarments.

As I watch your faultless expressions I begin to cringe at the gripping sight of your eyes.

The whites of your eyes so pure looking at you makes me feel untouched.

The structure of your face so perfectly aligned it makes me shiver.

I sweat at the touch of you hand.

Not worthy of you sharing your serenity with me.

Your stature is so powerful it intimidates me.

I bow at your royalty.

The king of men you prove yourself in any battle.

Your curly coarse hair embraces my fingers as I massage your tresses.

Being around you gives me a feeling of peace as I know you will take care of me.

I lay in your arms watching you sleep.

The perfection of your breathing sends my walls into attack as I feel the cool breeze on my chest.

Your precious treasures are like no other kind.

Full of length and width I embrace your riches with all my might…

A queen next to her king I understand your past.

The struggle you overcame to become the great one that you are.

I salute you and respect you.

The perfection of a human being lies deep inside of you….

Stand proud and stand tall…

You are a black man….

By: Veronica A. Kemp
(Honoring Strong Black Men)

TO THE BEST SUITE IN UCM

I just wanna dedicate this to all my girls of Stanislaus 124...My McNasties!!! So far we have been thru so much!!! We have so many memories already and its only our first year...From chili cheese fries to victoria's taco shop to saw marathons, i just cant even begin to describe how much all of u mean to me! I wouldnt rather be anywhere else on campus than with you guys!!! Oh man all the drama we had only made us closer and i so look forward to spending the rest of our college life adding more stories to the memories we share! well it would take me probably the rest of the year to tell u guys how much u mean to me so i'll just give u individual shout outs....

To my darling Alma, girl we have been thru the wire!! My ride or die chick no matter wat! From the first day that we met i knew that you and i were gonna be tighter than ever. You were there for me in the beginning of the year when i was goin thru all that drama and though we had only known each other for a short time, u stood by me and were a true friend. We are so much alike and i thank God that he allowed us to meet and become this close. You know i got ur back till the end and i'll whoop a bitch ass lol...stay sweet love!

To my Megan Megan, i dont think i've ever met a white girl as crazy as you lol... you are my dawg. From our matching pants to bringing it down some notches, i know that if i need to laugh i can come to you. You keep me on my toes and make sure that i stay on track and i thank you! I dont know wat i school would be like if i never met you! Thank you for taking care of me when i was drunk lol... and even though we have times when we battle with each other i am so excited that i know i can come talk to you! I appreciate ur knowledge and wisdom...I love u boo!!!

To my Bea Bea...You are the most adorable person that i know lol... I am so happy that i was able to know u and spend time with you. Though u are innocent you are strong and its not cool that ppl misinterpret ur kindness for weakness, but i see your strength and i respect it. You are truly a beautiful person. Stay the way you are because u inspire me to be so much better. God truly smiles on you and has blessed me with the opportunity to know you. We have so many memories and i cant wait to make more...I love u mucho hun!!!

To my darling Lety, you are a crazy mama cita! i love your stories and our fun conversations. I dont think i've ever met someone as open and free as you lol... but it is that liberated personality that makes you who u are...Thank you for all the advise u've given me when i was in need. I wish we could spend more time with you to build more memories, but i know that ur needed at home... But are awesome and i love you much! Stay the way you are because i dont know what i would do without you!

To my roomie Nessa, I MISS YOU BOO! Y did u have to go and leave me all alone???? Though you were only here for a short time we still had fun! You always knew how to make me laugh lol... We had some hard times in the beginning but we made it work... "I'm gonna throw that bitch Avril out the window" lol...The iHome was a killer man, but now i kinda miss it lol... The room just isnt the same without you! We miss you and we love you and i hope that u are having an awesome time at home...I hope to see you again so we can hang out and spend time together! I love u!!!!!

Gettin GHETTO on Merced!!!!

Okay...I was supposed to be bloggin all break but i've been busy... lol i havent even finished all my homework lol... shame on me..But basically i just wanted to ramble about the fact that i have never had to be this ghetto in my life!!! Merced is really bringing out the worst in me... I mean really i've had to get ghetto on some white chicks (hold on for that story) and the same trifflin dude twice(that story comes in a min too)!!! I mean why dont ppl understand that i am one of the sweetest ppl u'll ever meet until u get on my bad side and f*** wit me...I guess the reason why i really dont take any mess from ppl, is because i've spent my whole life trying to please others and if u know me well then u know that i have a hard time with this. I tend to put my feelings and my struggles last trying to make life better for other ppl. I've constantly let ppl run over me and treat me bad and what do i do because i'm a nice person???? I FORGIVE THEM! Then i try to move on like nothing happened... its like a never ending cycle that i really dont like but i just go with the flow...Finally i said that i had enough and i kicked those ppl out of my life and made a change. When senior year started i made that proclamation and i informed those around me that i was not someone that they wanted to mess with anymore...i must say that i had a good year! i only recall being ghetto like once and it wasnt even that bad. But these merced ppl just know how to push my buttons...So for all those who think this is how i've been my whole life u are wrong lol... I mean it really takes a lot to make me mad but when u do..All hell breaks loose!!!! Shit on my last incident i ended up taking this fools screen off of his window almost climbed through and whooped his ass but i had to hold myself back and yea for those who dont know it was a dude! Did I mention that i flipped over his table too?? yea ya'll ima crazy bitch...big thanks to Beth and Kiy for gettin me out of there cause that door woulda came down lol... but yea the white girls i had to handle was taking shit...they had been talking shit all semester about me and my suitemates and i cant have that shit! i didnt even know the bitches like that but they wanna talk shit so ima give them something to talk about. So u know wat i did?? i went straight up to their dorm with no back up cause i knew i wasnt gonna need it and i told them bitches like it was...i was like "I CAN GET GHETTO IN THIS BITCH IF U WANT!!!" in that tone too lol... after i was done with that convo where i was doin ALL the talking (so i guess thats more of a lecture huh lol) that female had the nerve to ask me if i wanted some of her M&M's lol...i just dont understand these ppl...now i got random bitches and niggas scared of me and shit but that is not my ultimate goal...all i want ppl to understand is that i dont take shit from anyone and if u stay outta my biz then we can have a cool relationship... Merced ppl just need something to talk about so if they wanna talk about me then that's fine! just dont let me hear about it lol...naw im just playin lol..i accept the haters cause if they aint got nothing better to do than hate on me then i must be doin something right! I am not here to be pleasin ANYBODY...I'ma just do me ghettoness and all!!!

THE LAKERS ARE #1

So first of all i haven't wrote a blog in hella long lol...So welcome me back to the Blog world!!! I just wanna say that i dedicate this blog to my girl Beth lol...The lakers are #1...So this blog is gonna be my welcome back blog and a dedication to the intramural's at the school....

Black Ice!!!! All of them are my boys....My boy Tay Tay (my best friend!)...My boy Drum Ryder (one of the realest niggas i know)...My boy Mario (we been thru a lot, but he's the business)...My boy Corbin (even though that nigga is crazy as hell!)....Good job this season guys! I'm your #1 fan...I've been at every game and i'm still amazed everytime lmao....

To all my other teams...L.H., Double D's, and lightweight Mo' Benjamin's.... Good luck to all you guys!!!

To all my girly's during the basketball games.... i love you guys lol...you guys add excitement to the games that the boys can't achieve lol....To my boo Beth, i love your half time shows lol... you better superman that shit lol...The game is not the same if i cant here you lol...To my boos Kiy, Mo,Cherie and Moni, i love our clownin sessions lol...That ref. wit the pants and the hair is too much lol...I cant wait for the play offs and the championship!!!!! Black Ice v. Double D's April 6th....

People Talkin Shit

So last night i was chillin wit my niggas and out of no where some one was like this nigga so and so was talkin shit about u last night...I was like WAT??? (initial reaction).... how are niggas gonna be talkin shit and i have seen or heard from them since like September lol....So then my friend proceeded to say, so and so also said "Fuck that Bitch!!! And you can tell her that i said it. Me and Ryan (this bop in sac: my side comment btw lol...) was about to beat her ass"...Now this is something new to me because i have never had someone feel this strongly about me lol... But i guess i mean i deserved a little hatred. I mean i did fuck up but so and so is the last person that needs to be talkin shit cause they was in the fucked up situation wit me...all i can do is laugh because this shit is hilarious. People get caught up in some shit and dont wanna take responsibility for their actions... I mean i handled mine like a grown ass woman and instead of so and so handlin it the grown way, they wanna drag my name in the mud....But i mean i cant please everybody... so i guess its cool to have a few haters lol... But wat makes me laugh is the fact that im all the way in Merced and when i come back to sac a group of niggas is like "i heard about you"... Im like "oh damn!!!" Veronica is a popular topic around ghetto ass niggas that aint doin shit wit their lives lol... I was also informed that i got niggas in Davis talkin about me, but in a good way though...So i guess all i can say is that im flattered that ppl take the time out of their days to make sure im the topic of conversation...But u kno wat i dont have to explain my side of the story to NO ONE, but the person i was accountable to and i did that LIKE A GROWN ASS WOMAN...so my deed is done... i can care less about some of my old high school niggas knowin shit or who thinks wat... all im finna do is BE ME...and if niggas dont like me because of that then.....FUCK YOU!!!!!!!....

Boys and Basketball

Boys crack me up... they use basketball to make friends, to let out anger, to basically live...This is for all guys that like basketball lol...but it just makes me laugh that they take it so seriously... they lose friendships over a game that doesn't last longer than an hour (in some games). I was just informed that off the court friendship and on the court friendship are two different things lol...wtf? these niggas is too intense... how is it that they can disrespect each other on the court but be friends off the court. Disrespect is disrespect no matter when you do it. I guess you can say that having two separate things works but ultimately are they truly separate? someone always takes shit to the heart and brings on court shit off court. i think that boys and sports are stupid and i cannot understand them at all lol...

"Jesus is the New Black"

So today i'm wearing a shirt that says "Jesus is the new Black".... I didnt think there was gonna be that many responses to it...I mean and its hella weird cause i dont know if they are commenting in a bad way or a good way!!!! lol..... i mean can someone who has an opinion share with me their feelings on the subject?? In my opinion, shit i like it and that is why i bought it lol.... i dont know if you understand how much this is bothering me... i was in writing 10 and i could not focus thinking about how i was gonna address this problem in my blog lol... so i just left early lol... im such a loser... but anyways, my perspective on the shirt....Black is powerful to me. In general it sends messages whether good or bad, its just a powerful color... When put up against other colors black is the emphasis color. In essence, black is the presence of all colors and that to me is beautiful. When looking at black in terms of race, Black is beautiful baby. As is all other races, we are all one people and all originated from the same thing. Jesus is just the bomb diggity fresh!!!!! Jesus is my homeboy, my savior, my brother and my friend!!!! So for me, to put two things together that i think invoke power is awesome. In essence, my shirt means "Jesus is the new power!" Any comments???

Racism

We dont understand the pain we cause,
when we say these things without a thought.
We dont know the hurt inside when we
classify between black or white.
Or brown or yellow, green or blue.
Its not about who's smarter or who's stronger,
but about who's lighter and who's darker.
Its a shame for black people who've been oppressed for hundreds of years
to walk around causing blood and tears,
to be spilled and shed...
We should uplift each other, embrace each other, love one another,
and yet we hold our brother and sister back.
Why is everything a racial issue,
its not about who we are, but more of what we do,
that sets us apart in these race barriers that keeps us stuck in the dark.
Blinded by the shields and boundaries
held up by the,
different levels of pigmentation,
we use as an excuse to do what we do.
Fighting each other because of our culture,
the hard texture of our hearts not letting anyone new through.
We deny the title of racist yet make racial comments
We rebuke the title of racist yet, dont do anything to stop it.
We take stereotypes and promote them by using them to our advantage.
We can't make decisions without thinking about the color of our skin.
We ask for respect without giving respect back
because we are too busy thinking about who's white or who's black.
The poor Asians and Mexicans cant get a break.
Their not know for being people, but for being a wet back or a chink, or
whatever derogatory term we can throw,
at them for their eyes or the things they dont know....
But when its all said and done it takes one to take the stand,
To not allow this foolishness and take command of the issue at hand.
Its time to stand up and be proud of who we are inside and out,
But dont let the person on the "out"
be the one that controls your life or where your at.
So I stand here today ready to take a vow,
to try and be a good example for my people, all people....
At least for a little while....

By: V. Kemp (inspired by: McLovin)

The Reason Why I Write

Sometimes it’s hard to accept the things that life throws at you…..

Life can be the cruelest thing to endure…..

But if we look to the future we can not only overcome the present….

We will gain the strength to overcome the impossible….

This is the reason that I write.

I write to present to the world that my legacy will be different.

I write to prove that no matter where life may take me I get up and keep running…

The bible says, We fall down but we get up…

We stumble sometimes but the key is to look at the situation we stumbled on and remember not to stumble again…

I write to prove to an unbelieving world that I am the new….

I write to emphasize the strength and the power of my words…..

I want to write.

I want to write something so powerful that struggling mothers gain the courage to continue,

Something so powerful that breast cancer is cured with the stroke of a doctor’s pen.

Something so powerful that infant mortality is seen as another dimension of sadness.

Something so impactful that genocide and tribal killings in Africa cease at the blow of the wind.

Something so impactful that the readers of my piece will embrace life and accept its outcomes.

I want to write.

So I write this to you now….

Forcing you to be grateful….

To be thankful for the air you breathe….

Thankful for the people who hate you…

Thankful for the times your life did not make sense….

Thankful for the people who did not have enough guts to be thankful for themselves….

This is the reason that I write.

Devirginized...

So im new to this whole blog thing. However, i've been informed that this was a good decision...I guess. I mean i really do need a space to just talk shit and be myself. So here is my first blog. I'm now devirginized, hence the title, but watever. I'm not really writing about anything right now...but my next blog will be the shit and i might just bless ya'll wit one of my infamous poems (yea right, i wish they was, maybe one day). But until then.....Holla!